Should religion be a determining factor for dating?

In the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Article 16 states that, “Men and women of full age, without any limitation due to race, nationality or religion, have the right to marry and to found a family.”

Going by this statement, there should ideally be no argument regarding interreligious dating and marriage. However, in real world conditions, there is constant pressure of varying degrees against people of different faiths who want to enter into a relationship.

Some religions view their teachings, including marriage practices, as commandments from God. Turning one’s back on these teachings is viewed as a deliberate rejection of their faith. Most attitudes have shifted towards acceptance, but in some parts of the world, it is not uncommon for individuals to be disowned by their family and expelled from their community.

Other people believe that introducing two conflicting beliefs into a marriage will inevitably lead to marital strife. They use this argument to explain the increasing rate of divorce. Some say that having parents of two opposing religions causes psychological stress on the children in such a marriage, as they often are effectively forced to choose one parent's faith over another. There is also the possibility of the children growing up in the other faith.

There are religions that are very intolerant of other faiths. A person professing a different faith is considered incompatible and not worth marrying. The outsider is seen as someone likely to tempt their spouse into wrong practices.

All these seem daunting, but do not be discouraged. There is a trend everywhere for people of all walks of life and faiths to recognize the freedom of the individual to choose his or her lifetime partner. In fact in 1995, the Leadership Council of Conservative Judaism issued a statement on marriage which said:

“If our children end up marrying non-Jews, we should not reject them. We should continue to give our love and by that retain a measure of influence in their lives, Jewishly and otherwise. Life consists of constant growth and our adult children may yet reach a stage when Judaism has new meaning for them. However, the marriage between a Jew and non-Jew is not a celebration for the Jewish community. We therefore reach out to the couple with the hope that the non-Jewish partner will move closer to Judaism and ultimately choose to convert. Since we know that over 70 percent of children of intermarried couples are not being raised as Jews…we want to encourage the Jewish partner to maintain his/her Jewish identity, and raise their children as Jews.”